


A little snowfall

by Catieee



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, I'm Not Ashamed, Jedi Ben Solo, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Kylo Ren Redemption, Original Character Death(s), Reader-Insert, i can make the bad guys good for a weekend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-30
Updated: 2016-01-30
Packaged: 2018-05-17 04:46:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5854765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catieee/pseuds/Catieee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I was listening to 'a little fall of rain' from Les Mis and my love for angst hi-jacked this whole trash heap. Sorrynotsorry about the angst. Enjoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A little snowfall

The light was fading out of your eyes like a star in a distant galaxy blinking out. Blood matted your hair to your skull and was beginning to crust over your eyes. It might have been blizzarding outside but you couldn’t feel it nipping at your fingers, instead you felt the warm numbness climbing up your forearms. Who knew a blaster to the stomach could produce so much blood? You were practically lying in an olympic swimming lane of your own hemoglobin and platelets.

You had failed your mission, of course. All you had to do was stop femme han solo, the prettiest pilot in the universe and his starry-eyed boyfriend, but you when it’s a single flame trooper out of fuel versus a blaster gun the odds aren’t going to be in your favor. You knew that the First Order, if Kylo couldn’t kill the girl, would probably fall at the feet of the resistance all because you couldn’t carry out a simple task. You wouldn’t live to see the repercussions of you fucking the whole galaxy over, which was a nice perk to dying, but the only one.

You hear heavy feet crunching fresh snow not very far from you. It was probably more resistance scum infiltrating the Starkiller base, looking to kill everyone on board in the name of ‘peace’ or the ‘lightside’ or some bullshit like that. No time to worry about that now. “Fn-5270?” You hear a hoarse voice call. Your eyes squint past all of the crusted blood and see dark swatches of fabric contrasted with the snow. You know that voice. It’s the hateful voice that commands to kill everyone on Jakku, it’s the hushed voice stealing kisses in the hallway when no one's looking, it’s the childish voice of a temper tantrum waiting to happen, It’s the voice of fresh air when you’re drowning in formation. You try to muster your voice to call out ‘Kylo’ but it comes out only as hoarse squeaks.

In a whoosh of fabric and before you can grasp what’s going on, Kylo kneels beside you and crams his hands into your wound. You could feel your stomach clenching and throbbing with the force of his weighty hands. On the inside you wanted to scream your throat raw but on the surface all you could manage to do was flinch away from him and whine. “I know it hurts, I’m sorry.” His voice was guttural, like a wounded animal. He presses his hands down deeper, “I need to stop the bleeding.” You try pushing his hands away from your stomach, and wriggling away, but he only strengthens the pressure on your stomach. “Stop. It's-- You’re going to hemorrhage and bleed out. I need to stop the bleeding!” His voice was getting brittle and more and more desperate.

You knew that you were a lost case. It would be silly to put so much effort into you when you wouldn’t even make it back to the base, let alone all the way down into the medical facilities. All this and the resistance is still worming their way into the system trying to take down the First Order. Kylo needed to follow the girl’s trail and kill her, but there was no way he would ever just leave you, he would never give up the silly and far-fetched hope that you would make it. It was bittersweet how childish he could be sometimes.

Two large hands made their way under you and he lifted you swiftly off the ground. “No!” you strangle out. Your voice is barely there, but you know he heard you. Still he rushed towards the base. “Stop!” You say a little stronger.

“I’m not leaving you here to die; I can save you. I can save you!” His voice rang. Tears were glistening in his eyes.

“You know I won’t get.. all the way there... “ you say breathily.

“You will, you will. I’m going to save you!” He says with a shaky voice and trembling lips.

"No. I. won’t...please, Kylo.”

“ **Goddamn it!** ” He roared. He knew that you were right. It was sad to see the hope ripped from his eyes. Gingerly, he lowered you down to the snowy floor again. He sat down and held him to your chest. You would be content with dying here; it felt safe.

Within only a few short seconds of being in your little safe haven you begin to convulse wildly from the bitter wind and lack of bloodflow. You couldn’t even feel Kylo draping his shawl over you, to block the cold. “You make me feel like Ben again.” His voice quavered. You knew this must one of those death fantasies, because Kylo never mentioned being Ben ever. He said it made him feel weak and inert and he sought nothing more than to crush that side of him. He said he would never be uncertain and powerless like his parents.

“I have to be dreaming.” You mumble.

“I feel like...With you.. I used to think that all love was, was heartache and anguish, but I know now that it’s warmth and trust and everything good you could ever imagine. I don’t feel empty with you.” He plants his firm lips to your forehead.

Before you can respond your tunnel vision gets closer and closer. No longer can you feel the pain or cold or heartbreak. And all together, in the snowy forest and the arms of your true love, you as a life force, _cease_.


End file.
